waking up to a phone call from mum.
listening to NPR's morning edition.
song segments in between stories.
packing everything so perfectly in my backpack.
riding safely and having no mishaps on the way to work.
morning rhythm.
looking for alligators as i cross over that canal.
that i see low tide in the morning and high tide in the afternoon.
missing all of the broken glass on the sidewalk.
krishna laughing in the courtyard this morning.
cindy lou having left a circled article from the paper on my desk for encouragement.
cindy's help with the booklist.
plugging away on what is usually a laboriously slow task.
bev.
a free latte! thanks to my very own resident lifesaver, cindy.
leftovers for lunch at my desk.
taking a nap on the ground in the courtyard at the height of midday.
when cindy said to krishna pointing my way, "i think we have a vagrant in the corner over there."
making short work of wieldy sentences.
that phone conversation in the back alley.
that the truth is always made known.
that we each make our own journey.
a feeling of peace and resolution.
that she said, "you give so much...always."
raymond offering a piece of dark chocolate.
riding home safely.
not being blinded...seriously...by the gnats.
the cars that waited and acknowledged my presence on the road.
cold showers.
pema sitting by me at dusk.
talking to my mum on the phone.
a good cry.
reading into the night.
getting laundry done.
protection.
that only love is real.
Friday, August 15, 2008
thursday.
that i did not oversleep.
that it was such a beautiful, hazy summer morning.
that i was able to think about so much on my ride.
that i could smile and wave hello with tenderness.
incense and prayers.
that i did not get hit under the overpass when my rack snapped partially off my bike and fell on the rear wheel.
that i could call cindy on my cellphone and she didn't even hesitate, but said, "where are you?? okay, i'll be right there!"
cellphones.
such good friends like cindy.
that i could fit my bike in her trunk.
that i still got to work on time to change and make it to my presentation at the nursing home 40 minutes away.
traveling mercies on the highway.
that the ladies, especially marie and verna at the nursing home were so delightful and welcoming to me.
that i really got a sense of how important the dynamic of community as family is by visiting with them.
that we talked about so many different things before my presentation, that when i was thrown a curveball about what the facility would like for me to present at the last minute...all of the things we had talked about was the perfect segue to begin.
that verna said her name growing up was jo-jo because she was so good at volleyball.
that this was a spunky woman in her maybe-late 80s with such a sparkle in her eye.
that when i was finished the ladies didn't want to stop talking with me...and i felt...this is worth everything...this is a job that can make a difference.
that i was welcomed to come visit any time.
that i was able to stop and get cindy-lou a thank you gift.
that i had amazing lunch of grains and beets and kombucha.
that i got a lot done on my newsletter.
that i was able to get a hold of stan at the bike shop and he said, "bring it in, and we'll get you fixed up on the spot!"
that i was able to leave work early to get my bike fixed.
that cindy lou drove me all the way out to the bike shop when she got off of work.
that william helped us get the bike in her car.
that the scariest downpour stopped exactly the minute when we had to load the bike up.
that we could hork some visqueen to protect cindy's trunk.
that when i called the shop to say we were on the way, that guy with the delightful irish accent said, "it's rainin' cats and sheep and dogs and a whole lottta other stuff right now."
that they fixed my rack with lock-tite...and charged me nothing.
that i now have a set of allen wrenches.
that cindy and i stopped for a latte and ended up wandering around pier one getting in trouble.
that she drove me home...because it would've been a loooong ride.
that my mum didn't have to come get me...but that she didn't hesitate when that was a possibility.
that christine came over and shared with me her day.
that miguel and jill invited me over.
that i have good, nice neighbors who are welcoming and offered me such a nice glass of wine.
that i could talk with her on the phone.
that she would care to listen to me breathe when i fell fast asleep.
that it was such a beautiful, hazy summer morning.
that i was able to think about so much on my ride.
that i could smile and wave hello with tenderness.
incense and prayers.
that i did not get hit under the overpass when my rack snapped partially off my bike and fell on the rear wheel.
that i could call cindy on my cellphone and she didn't even hesitate, but said, "where are you?? okay, i'll be right there!"
cellphones.
such good friends like cindy.
that i could fit my bike in her trunk.
that i still got to work on time to change and make it to my presentation at the nursing home 40 minutes away.
traveling mercies on the highway.
that the ladies, especially marie and verna at the nursing home were so delightful and welcoming to me.
that i really got a sense of how important the dynamic of community as family is by visiting with them.
that we talked about so many different things before my presentation, that when i was thrown a curveball about what the facility would like for me to present at the last minute...all of the things we had talked about was the perfect segue to begin.
that verna said her name growing up was jo-jo because she was so good at volleyball.
that this was a spunky woman in her maybe-late 80s with such a sparkle in her eye.
that when i was finished the ladies didn't want to stop talking with me...and i felt...this is worth everything...this is a job that can make a difference.
that i was welcomed to come visit any time.
that i was able to stop and get cindy-lou a thank you gift.
that i had amazing lunch of grains and beets and kombucha.
that i got a lot done on my newsletter.
that i was able to get a hold of stan at the bike shop and he said, "bring it in, and we'll get you fixed up on the spot!"
that i was able to leave work early to get my bike fixed.
that cindy lou drove me all the way out to the bike shop when she got off of work.
that william helped us get the bike in her car.
that the scariest downpour stopped exactly the minute when we had to load the bike up.
that we could hork some visqueen to protect cindy's trunk.
that when i called the shop to say we were on the way, that guy with the delightful irish accent said, "it's rainin' cats and sheep and dogs and a whole lottta other stuff right now."
that they fixed my rack with lock-tite...and charged me nothing.
that i now have a set of allen wrenches.
that cindy and i stopped for a latte and ended up wandering around pier one getting in trouble.
that she drove me home...because it would've been a loooong ride.
that my mum didn't have to come get me...but that she didn't hesitate when that was a possibility.
that christine came over and shared with me her day.
that miguel and jill invited me over.
that i have good, nice neighbors who are welcoming and offered me such a nice glass of wine.
that i could talk with her on the phone.
that she would care to listen to me breathe when i fell fast asleep.
wednesday.
the best tiffin tin lunch: tomato basil mozzarella sandwich; coleslaw with currants.
riding home with leisy.
Seeing janet on her way cycling home.
Missing the lizards that were running under my tires.
That it didn't rain.
Christine's exuberant challenges.
riding home with leisy.
Seeing janet on her way cycling home.
Missing the lizards that were running under my tires.
That it didn't rain.
Christine's exuberant challenges.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
tuesday.
Talking to my mum each morning.
A cup of hot tea.
Sashi's chattiness at breakfast.
Chia seeds in my spirulina, Udo's and oj.
Peanut butter and jelly on wasa for breakfast.
Riding like the wind.
The 2 nice men in hard hats walking up the sidewalk who smiled so sweetly and stepped aside so I could ride past at the notoriously precarious roundabout.
The 2 men without homes who are always rolling cigarettes in the same place under the highway each morning.
The man who I tried not to frighten as I passed who was obviously out of his mind and yelled at me…that I could yell back with equal gusto: "HAVE A BEEEEAUUUTIFUL DAY!!!" as I passed waving my left arm wildly with greeting.
That that lady corrected her steering and did not hit me.
The BIGHUGE man who waited till I was riding by and stuck out his thumb in a frantic Fonz gesture and said, "HEEEEYYYY!!!!!"…that I had the presence of mind to whoop and holler back instead of being frightened.
That I giggled all morning about how well I could converse with those who could generally be considered 'crazy.'
That I arrived to work safely.
Sangeeta and Julia…and that they are the highlights of my morning when I go to get coffee.
That Sangeeta always asks, "How's your health"…in her beautiful Nepali accent.
That I am able to answer, "RRRRRRammro." [please forgive the spelling]
That I plowed away on my work deadline.
That I found some funky Japanese tins at the thrift store.
Chia energy chocolate bars.
That laura refused to let me ride to my night job in the dark.
That it rained early and held off till I could ride home.
That oddly flattened "iced-cream cone" that solidified on the sidewalk outside the yoga studio though it hadn't really melted...that it looked plastic, but it was real.
That i've had the presence of mind not to eat such frightening things my entire adult life.
That I had remembered to pack my sunglasses which shielded my eyes from the thundercloud of gnats that descended with the afternoon low pressure.
That the natural world is full of "sailor signs" like these if we just slow down enough to witness them.
That I didn't swallow or inhale too many gnats.
The workers in the back of the pickup truck who smiled at me genuinely…not leeringly.
The people whose faces betray a thousand stories as they exit so rapidly the train.
Getting a lot accomplished.
Eating more peanut butter and jelly for dinner.
The pink moon.
Christine's buoyant enthusiasm when she came over to borrow some Polish sparkling water in order to perfect her mojitos.
That she invited me for over for mojitos Wednesday evening.
Falling asleep mid-sentence reading.
A cup of hot tea.
Sashi's chattiness at breakfast.
Chia seeds in my spirulina, Udo's and oj.
Peanut butter and jelly on wasa for breakfast.
Riding like the wind.
The 2 nice men in hard hats walking up the sidewalk who smiled so sweetly and stepped aside so I could ride past at the notoriously precarious roundabout.
The 2 men without homes who are always rolling cigarettes in the same place under the highway each morning.
The man who I tried not to frighten as I passed who was obviously out of his mind and yelled at me…that I could yell back with equal gusto: "HAVE A BEEEEAUUUTIFUL DAY!!!" as I passed waving my left arm wildly with greeting.
That that lady corrected her steering and did not hit me.
The BIGHUGE man who waited till I was riding by and stuck out his thumb in a frantic Fonz gesture and said, "HEEEEYYYY!!!!!"…that I had the presence of mind to whoop and holler back instead of being frightened.
That I giggled all morning about how well I could converse with those who could generally be considered 'crazy.'
That I arrived to work safely.
Sangeeta and Julia…and that they are the highlights of my morning when I go to get coffee.
That Sangeeta always asks, "How's your health"…in her beautiful Nepali accent.
That I am able to answer, "RRRRRRammro." [please forgive the spelling]
That I plowed away on my work deadline.
That I found some funky Japanese tins at the thrift store.
Chia energy chocolate bars.
That laura refused to let me ride to my night job in the dark.
That it rained early and held off till I could ride home.
That oddly flattened "iced-cream cone" that solidified on the sidewalk outside the yoga studio though it hadn't really melted...that it looked plastic, but it was real.
That i've had the presence of mind not to eat such frightening things my entire adult life.
That I had remembered to pack my sunglasses which shielded my eyes from the thundercloud of gnats that descended with the afternoon low pressure.
That the natural world is full of "sailor signs" like these if we just slow down enough to witness them.
That I didn't swallow or inhale too many gnats.
The workers in the back of the pickup truck who smiled at me genuinely…not leeringly.
The people whose faces betray a thousand stories as they exit so rapidly the train.
Getting a lot accomplished.
Eating more peanut butter and jelly for dinner.
The pink moon.
Christine's buoyant enthusiasm when she came over to borrow some Polish sparkling water in order to perfect her mojitos.
That she invited me for over for mojitos Wednesday evening.
Falling asleep mid-sentence reading.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
monday.
waking up before the sun.
discovering before i got on the road that my bike tire was flat
being able to walk to a service station.
being able call ron for advice over the phone.
mum's boundless concern.
that i can feel like just her voice over the phone is enough to make me feel at home…[which is to say…i can usually hold it together…but cry so easily and finally fall apart with her and she hears me]
that God understands my inexpressible tears.
determination. and self motivation.
laughing inside my head at the thought that going around and around again trying to fit the rubber back into the tire frame was not unlike sisyphus and his hill.
that moment when i thought: "i will do this for strong, independent women everywhere"
that i didn't have to walk in the rain.
the woman at the bus stop who smiled at me.
finally getting on the road in spite of so many obstacles.
the generous offering of ice at that mid-way mark.
a gentle, quiet, grace-filled conversation.
granting peace and love in places of hurt and pain.
seeing a relief and smile there.
the feather in the alleyway i turned around to retrieve.
arriving to work safely.
getting a lot done at work.
having to laugh at myself when my tiffin tin exploded cole slaw and turnips all over beverly's desk.
that beverly and jackie encourage my faith.
having a number of co-workers express care for my safety/offering me a ride home due to rain.
getting to see my mum when she came to pick me up.
that my mum is full of [and i suppose has alternately instilled in me] a sense of childlike wonder.
exiting the bathroom at target to see her mischievously trying to hide from me.
that i found an excellent tire pump so i don't have to walk to the service station next time.
that my mum is always so nice to strangers.
that together we made the lady at subway smile as she was making our sandwiches.
that my mum and i could sit in the parking lot and point out the beautiful clouds in the sky.
that one of them looked like aladdin's lamp.
that we rounded that corner in yet another store where the young mother pulled us aside and asked, "what do you think? which backpack is best for my little girl?"
that my mum instantly asked the little girl what her favorite color was and talked to her about her favorite backpack.
that the young mother looked up to my mum for advice.
that both my mum and i felt like crying when we helped her think it through for herself and she thanked us for our perspective and confirmation.
that we both felt like that's the very reason we were led to that corner in the store.
that that young mother was black and we are white and that that moment felt like a very natural but large step to healing the myriad tiny divides that can continue to separate and build walls between different ethnicities of people…in that moment…we were just women relating to one another…and it made my heart glad because that's the way it should be.
that my mum is such a good, commonsense, no-need-for-frills woman and has taught me the value and resilience of that.
that i found the 27 inch tubes that i needed.
that we could joke with the man in front of us in line.
that i could give my mum some kwan loon oil.
that it worked for her pain.
that pema did not wander off and get lost when i feared she had.
that I let myself go to sleep early.
discovering before i got on the road that my bike tire was flat
being able to walk to a service station.
being able call ron for advice over the phone.
mum's boundless concern.
that i can feel like just her voice over the phone is enough to make me feel at home…[which is to say…i can usually hold it together…but cry so easily and finally fall apart with her and she hears me]
that God understands my inexpressible tears.
determination. and self motivation.
laughing inside my head at the thought that going around and around again trying to fit the rubber back into the tire frame was not unlike sisyphus and his hill.
that moment when i thought: "i will do this for strong, independent women everywhere"
that i didn't have to walk in the rain.
the woman at the bus stop who smiled at me.
finally getting on the road in spite of so many obstacles.
the generous offering of ice at that mid-way mark.
a gentle, quiet, grace-filled conversation.
granting peace and love in places of hurt and pain.
seeing a relief and smile there.
the feather in the alleyway i turned around to retrieve.
arriving to work safely.
getting a lot done at work.
having to laugh at myself when my tiffin tin exploded cole slaw and turnips all over beverly's desk.
that beverly and jackie encourage my faith.
having a number of co-workers express care for my safety/offering me a ride home due to rain.
getting to see my mum when she came to pick me up.
that my mum is full of [and i suppose has alternately instilled in me] a sense of childlike wonder.
exiting the bathroom at target to see her mischievously trying to hide from me.
that i found an excellent tire pump so i don't have to walk to the service station next time.
that my mum is always so nice to strangers.
that together we made the lady at subway smile as she was making our sandwiches.
that my mum and i could sit in the parking lot and point out the beautiful clouds in the sky.
that one of them looked like aladdin's lamp.
that we rounded that corner in yet another store where the young mother pulled us aside and asked, "what do you think? which backpack is best for my little girl?"
that my mum instantly asked the little girl what her favorite color was and talked to her about her favorite backpack.
that the young mother looked up to my mum for advice.
that both my mum and i felt like crying when we helped her think it through for herself and she thanked us for our perspective and confirmation.
that we both felt like that's the very reason we were led to that corner in the store.
that that young mother was black and we are white and that that moment felt like a very natural but large step to healing the myriad tiny divides that can continue to separate and build walls between different ethnicities of people…in that moment…we were just women relating to one another…and it made my heart glad because that's the way it should be.
that my mum is such a good, commonsense, no-need-for-frills woman and has taught me the value and resilience of that.
that i found the 27 inch tubes that i needed.
that we could joke with the man in front of us in line.
that i could give my mum some kwan loon oil.
that it worked for her pain.
that pema did not wander off and get lost when i feared she had.
that I let myself go to sleep early.
Monday, August 11, 2008
sunday.
being able to rest after not feeling well Saturday.
having a rational debate with my cat and knowing I sound crazy.
those beautiful flowers blooming on the side of my house.
talking with Christine.
little Kent bringing me his frog toy to fetch.
those sudden rains that come on with such fierceness.
thinking of ways to use up my wilting vegetables.
composting what I can't use.
Lama Gyurme's chanting.
catching up on the phone with my mum.
Lisa's texts.
listening to another friend after a long time of silence.
red coral.
tinkering.
that only love is real.
blessed sleep.
having a rational debate with my cat and knowing I sound crazy.
those beautiful flowers blooming on the side of my house.
talking with Christine.
little Kent bringing me his frog toy to fetch.
those sudden rains that come on with such fierceness.
thinking of ways to use up my wilting vegetables.
composting what I can't use.
Lama Gyurme's chanting.
catching up on the phone with my mum.
Lisa's texts.
listening to another friend after a long time of silence.
red coral.
tinkering.
that only love is real.
blessed sleep.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
saturday.
being up at 5.
early morning pensiveness.
sleepy kitters.
drinking hot tea in an overgrown garden horking internet before the sun rises.
having everything packed the night before and loaded on my bike.
the smell of dew on the grass.
learning a new sidewalk biking to work.
hills.
riding my bike quietly under the highway overpass...so small beneath so much noise.
eating the bushes on the way to work.
the flock of birds that flew overhead like harbingers of an early winter who reminded me that the sky is so wide.
my sense of smell.
seeing that lake up close by bike that i've always smiled at by car.
finding my pocket knife when it fell.
finding my phone when it fell.
getting to work earlier than i thought.
stopping for a latte with my extra time.
Celina...the delightful, older woman who i watched wait on every person with such tender attentiveness and when i thanked her for being so happy she said with her beautiful cuban accent, "i don't know...i...am...always like this...you come this afternoon and i will smile and say, happy to see you...it's just...my God...he is my friend...and i just have to smile." she so made my day special.
crossing the mega thoroughfare that i have to cross, safely.
having packed an extra infusion set for my insulin pump...just...in...case...it was torn out, and having it when it was.
having the wherewithal and money to walk across the street for a battery when my pump failed.
green bananas.
himalayan pink sea salt on boiled eggs.
david's shift in attitude.
the man who, when i pointed out the frightening weather that was obviously coming our way, turned and said, "it's coming right toward us!" and ran out the door to drive away. i've been laughing about that ever since.
laura...a.k.a....lauralee. because any day working with her is a good day.
having insulin to bring my blood sugar down.
laurabeautifulsoultallestangelsentinelwhitedove who checked in with me all day making sure i didn't need a ride.
that my sugar finally came down so i could eat the most amazing tomato basil mozzarella sandwich for lunch.
that it stopped storming so fiercely so i could ride home.
the girl at the farmer's market who always says, "where you beeeen?"
fresh kale.
mmmm....beets.
being able to load my groceries on my collapsible pannier baskets.
the man holding the sign at the street corner who said, "hey, didn't i see you last week, eating your lunch?" that's twice he made me smile.
watching the traffic patterns.
the silent camaraderie of people on bikes.
eating the bushes on the way home from work.
traveling mercies.
that smiling pig BBQ pit that is so wrong, but always makes me smile.
that girl on the bicycle across the street who was riding without hands who turned and waved and smiled at me.
making it home safely.
plain and fancy refrigerator for dinner.
talking to my brother on the phone for an hour and a half.
that we help each other remember what's important.
that we both know that we know anything that is good and honourable and true because we have the most amazing mother.
that even though he is so far away, we are still together.
sleepy phone calls.
someone who will sit and listen to me breathe.
early morning pensiveness.
sleepy kitters.
drinking hot tea in an overgrown garden horking internet before the sun rises.
having everything packed the night before and loaded on my bike.
the smell of dew on the grass.
learning a new sidewalk biking to work.
hills.
riding my bike quietly under the highway overpass...so small beneath so much noise.
eating the bushes on the way to work.
the flock of birds that flew overhead like harbingers of an early winter who reminded me that the sky is so wide.
my sense of smell.
seeing that lake up close by bike that i've always smiled at by car.
finding my pocket knife when it fell.
finding my phone when it fell.
that leetle, yellow caterpillar that took a mile long ride on my pants.
not falling in the soft sand.getting to work earlier than i thought.
stopping for a latte with my extra time.
Celina...the delightful, older woman who i watched wait on every person with such tender attentiveness and when i thanked her for being so happy she said with her beautiful cuban accent, "i don't know...i...am...always like this...you come this afternoon and i will smile and say, happy to see you...it's just...my God...he is my friend...and i just have to smile." she so made my day special.
crossing the mega thoroughfare that i have to cross, safely.
having packed an extra infusion set for my insulin pump...just...in...case...it was torn out, and having it when it was.
having the wherewithal and money to walk across the street for a battery when my pump failed.
green bananas.
himalayan pink sea salt on boiled eggs.
david's shift in attitude.
the man who, when i pointed out the frightening weather that was obviously coming our way, turned and said, "it's coming right toward us!" and ran out the door to drive away. i've been laughing about that ever since.
laura...a.k.a....lauralee. because any day working with her is a good day.
having insulin to bring my blood sugar down.
laurabeautifulsoultallestangelsentinelwhitedove who checked in with me all day making sure i didn't need a ride.
that my sugar finally came down so i could eat the most amazing tomato basil mozzarella sandwich for lunch.
that it stopped storming so fiercely so i could ride home.
the girl at the farmer's market who always says, "where you beeeen?"
fresh kale.
mmmm....beets.
being able to load my groceries on my collapsible pannier baskets.
the man holding the sign at the street corner who said, "hey, didn't i see you last week, eating your lunch?" that's twice he made me smile.
watching the traffic patterns.
the silent camaraderie of people on bikes.
eating the bushes on the way home from work.
traveling mercies.
that smiling pig BBQ pit that is so wrong, but always makes me smile.
that girl on the bicycle across the street who was riding without hands who turned and waved and smiled at me.
making it home safely.
plain and fancy refrigerator for dinner.
talking to my brother on the phone for an hour and a half.
that we help each other remember what's important.
that we both know that we know anything that is good and honourable and true because we have the most amazing mother.
that even though he is so far away, we are still together.
sleepy phone calls.
someone who will sit and listen to me breathe.
friday.
being able to take time to be quiet in the morning.
being able to take time off of work to get stuff done.
that i still had a rental car to do it.
that i am strong enough to move very heavy things by myself.
mr. scott. his quiet concern.
the man at the Goodwill donation center who said when asked "how are YOU today?"..."I am MAR-VE-LOUS!"...and as a farewell, "YOU have a BLESSED day!!"
the beautiful little girl waiting with her mother outside the pharmacy...her soulful eyes.
the old lady dancing to the Musak in the pharmacy.
that i could get my insulin prescription filled before i had no car.
cool water.
Bruno at the video store, and his kind, smiling eyes...his..."I figure things happen for a reason, you know?"
that i can offer all of my fears and concerns up to the Divine.
Judy.
that i didn't run out of gas.
a most incredible lunch of blackened tofu, Buddhist delight, and those amazing sesame balls.
kombucha.
rose. [for so many reasons]
getting things i need.
the man at the gas station who pantomimed, "shall i pull forward?" when i was waiting with absolutely NO gas for the next available pump.
that i have a debit card.
traveling mercies in terribly rainy weather.
that i no longer work as far away as i used to from where i live.
that i did not get in an accident when the cars stopped suddenly in front of me on the slick roads.
that the car behind me didn't hit me.
walking in the rain.
that i can walk.
the man at the vegetable market who laughed a hearty laugh when i was picking out my oranges next to him...and when i greeted him with an "HELLLL-OH!" he said, "it's a great thing that you're always smiling...really, it's a great thing!!"...and when i said, "you know, i figure...when you smile, the world always smiles back"...he said, "YESS!! IT'S TRUE!".
remembering to stop and pick up my long, lost scarf.
mandy, who cared for it for a year.
knowing the back roads to save time.
the girl at the pharmacy who tried every possible way to process my debit card when her machine didn't read it...that she didn't give up.
getting orange juice.
fresh mozzarella cheese.
the big, very tall man who was in front of me in line...that he looked like every one's idea of a wizard with the tall, purple hat...and that he was buying tofu.
racing home and unloading my car like i was on some sort of bizarre speed-timed game show.
that i am strong enough to move FAST.
getting to the rental car company safely with 6 minutes before my time was up.
that they were so nice.
that they gave me a ride home so i didn't have to walk in the rain.
pema, and how excited she gets to go outside.
organic, natural mosquito deterrent on a summer evening out-of-doors.
that i got the paperwork i've been waiting for in the mail.
that nice lady on the phone at the insurance company.
that i have the equipment i need to carry stuff on my bike.
eating the leftovers from my AMAZING lunch for dinner.
hot tea.
happy phone calls.
friends.
sleeping on the floor...and how it reminds me we have so very much that all we truly need is very modest and simple.
that all we really need is love.
being able to take time off of work to get stuff done.
that i still had a rental car to do it.
that i am strong enough to move very heavy things by myself.
mr. scott. his quiet concern.
the man at the Goodwill donation center who said when asked "how are YOU today?"..."I am MAR-VE-LOUS!"...and as a farewell, "YOU have a BLESSED day!!"
the beautiful little girl waiting with her mother outside the pharmacy...her soulful eyes.
the old lady dancing to the Musak in the pharmacy.
that i could get my insulin prescription filled before i had no car.
cool water.
Bruno at the video store, and his kind, smiling eyes...his..."I figure things happen for a reason, you know?"
that i can offer all of my fears and concerns up to the Divine.
Judy.
that i didn't run out of gas.
a most incredible lunch of blackened tofu, Buddhist delight, and those amazing sesame balls.
kombucha.
rose. [for so many reasons]
getting things i need.
the man at the gas station who pantomimed, "shall i pull forward?" when i was waiting with absolutely NO gas for the next available pump.
that i have a debit card.
traveling mercies in terribly rainy weather.
that i no longer work as far away as i used to from where i live.
that i did not get in an accident when the cars stopped suddenly in front of me on the slick roads.
that the car behind me didn't hit me.
walking in the rain.
that i can walk.
the man at the vegetable market who laughed a hearty laugh when i was picking out my oranges next to him...and when i greeted him with an "HELLLL-OH!" he said, "it's a great thing that you're always smiling...really, it's a great thing!!"...and when i said, "you know, i figure...when you smile, the world always smiles back"...he said, "YESS!! IT'S TRUE!".
remembering to stop and pick up my long, lost scarf.
mandy, who cared for it for a year.
knowing the back roads to save time.
the girl at the pharmacy who tried every possible way to process my debit card when her machine didn't read it...that she didn't give up.
getting orange juice.
fresh mozzarella cheese.
the big, very tall man who was in front of me in line...that he looked like every one's idea of a wizard with the tall, purple hat...and that he was buying tofu.
racing home and unloading my car like i was on some sort of bizarre speed-timed game show.
that i am strong enough to move FAST.
getting to the rental car company safely with 6 minutes before my time was up.
that they were so nice.
that they gave me a ride home so i didn't have to walk in the rain.
pema, and how excited she gets to go outside.
organic, natural mosquito deterrent on a summer evening out-of-doors.
that i got the paperwork i've been waiting for in the mail.
that nice lady on the phone at the insurance company.
that i have the equipment i need to carry stuff on my bike.
eating the leftovers from my AMAZING lunch for dinner.
hot tea.
happy phone calls.
friends.
sleeping on the floor...and how it reminds me we have so very much that all we truly need is very modest and simple.
that all we really need is love.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
thursday.
[some days are just so beautiful, i'm not certain my heart can contain it...to preface this unusual preamble, i wish to note that early, early this morning...in the middle of the night, in fact, i opened the most frightening letter i have ever received...stating that i may be legally responsible...read: sued...for my recent car accident...and after my heart sunk...all. i could do. all. i could do...was have a conversation with God...and it was such a beautiful thing...my heart was crushed, and my mind was racing...and i thought of every possible, dire scenario...and simply talked it out...and surrendered it to the Power that is beyond me...and like a child, i went to sleep carried by a Love eternal...and though the fear and worry was washed away, with every breath i took i proclaimed...breathing in...i give this whole situation to God...breathing out...i rest in the fact that it is in the hands of the Divine, and so...i awoke, to the most...amazing...day]
waking up in God's arms.
Pema looking at me with 'eye hugs'.
calling my mum, knowing she would offer me complete support...and she did.
being able to surrender to the Divine what is larger than i can handle.
taking the day off of work.
getting a hold of Cindy Lou when the phones were down to work.
that she was not going to work, but worked to contact my supervisor for me anyway.
feeling everything falling in to place, like i was being led step by step in the direction i needed to take.
the spirited wind that was alive in the trees this morning.
the sense that everything...especially this...because it is so big...and so beyond me...and so dark, was not only going to turn out okay, but remarkably...and grandly, for my good.
the little poodle at the bank who instantly ran up to me like i was an old friend.
that i had a check to deposit at a time when my account is as low as it's ever been.
the old lady that was coming in as i was leaving...that i could hold the door for her...she reminded me of Rosie.
that the remembrance of Christa's family was only wistful but did not cause me pain.
that i still have a rental car until tomorrow.
that i could use it for an entire day of errands.
that the 2 old ladies at the parking garage were so astounded and appreciative when i held the door for them that they wanted to tip me, and were more astounded when i said, "please, don't even consider it, ladies, the pleasure's all mine."
that the cashier and barista at Starbucks were so genuinely nice...they both...peered in my eyes and said...this is to make you smile.
that the beautiful, funky girl with the skull and crossbones skirt who, with her boyfriend, was in line with me at the same time...without saying a word...gave me a fullhearted huge embrace and loving kiss on the cheek when i held the door open for them...then turned and walked away with her boyfriend, hand-in-hand...[this has never happened to me before, i did not know them]
that my heart soared, and i felt in that instant that my life was changed forever...and i knew, that the world was full of love [and everything was going to be okay]
the smell of incense wafting through an open doorway.
the laughter and happy sounds of children playing in the fountain.
that the copy machine at the library spit out my $4.70 IN CHANGE so rapidly that i giggled at the thought it sounded like i hit the jackpot.
that i had to pick up my quarters from the floor and raise my 2 fists in the air playing out my imaginary win...mouthing, "JACKPOT!!" in spite of stares.
the leetle girl in front of me in line at the library who was giggling every time her father would ask in his delightful Haitian accent what she wanted for lunch: "hahmbeurguer?...peeetzahh?...weeth pup-eur-ohh-nee??"
that she had smiley-face barrettes in her hair.
that the parking garage ladies found me in the library and exclaimed, "IT'S THE KIND LADY!"
that my favorite library staff worker was the person who processed all of my very overdue returns.
that she proclaimed, "okay...now, about your fines...because you are such a good library patron...forget about it!"...and that she wouldn't take no for answer.
walking downtown in the middle of the day.
julio's wide smile.
that a sacred, treasured bird feather smiled up from the alleyway.
that they always come when i need them.
that the parking garage attendant smiled so beautifully.
that my collapsible pannier baskets work beautifully on my bike.
that Stan at the bike shop gave me a really good deal, and a free can of GT lubricant.
that it was easy fitting my bike into the rental car.
that the same nice girl was at the health food store and smiled at me.
the smell of health food stores.
such uplifting texts all morning and afternoon from Alycia and Leisy.
that Leisy said she loves me more for wanting to change my name to Percival.
that i would gladly be called God's Fool.
that Alycia texted, "Good things are happening" and i felt the flash of a truth deeper than i have even begun to see.
texts from Lisa.
my tofurkymuenstersproutavocadodriedcherry wrap.
that my mother's employer wanted to see me about the letter i received.
that i finally got to meet Rose.
that she cares for my mother so much.
that she sat down with me and offered me her legal counsel and called my insurance company and is putting together a case for me.
that i feel that entire situation was Divinely ordained.
that she helped me and confirmed some decisions i felt had to be made.
that each time i need help, help is miraculously provided.
that my mother and i never part without a big hug, and an "i love you."
that Nancy at the bookstore gave me a big hug and said, "where have you beeeen, girrrrl?!"
that when i shared with her how much i needed her hug, she gave me another one.
that 5 minutes later she said, "you know?...you're gonna have a BRAND, NEW car in 3 months! i know that sounds crazy, but you will...you watch...i don't know why i have to say that, but it's true."
that the bookstore smelled of incense.
that Rose called me on my cell phone already working on my case.
that she asked me to consider helping her plan a truly, remarkable gift she wishes to give my mum.
that i was granted traveling mercies.
that i found the perfect frame-mounted bike pump at Target.
that i found the perfect belt...[i've been looking for a year]
the Indian man and his daughter who were having trouble asking a new, young employee where something was in the store.
that the employee was confused in his reply, but when i turned around, what they were looking for was right there.
that i held it up and pointed at it secretly.
that the employee caught me and we all laughed.
that the Indian man called out, "Thank yooo"...over the aisles.
that the couple in line behind me put down their toy tea set and said, "now we can have the neighbors over for tea."
that i felt i'd instantly made a friend when i said, "if you were my neighbor and you really did that, i'd fall in love with you instantly".
that she said she wished we were neighbors.
that the heat lightning was so remarkably like that night from childhood i watched the storm roll by from the front stoop with my mum that i couldn't help but feel the heavens were smiling.
the tiny tree frog that hopped in front of me by my front door.
blueberry waffles for dinner.
feeling like my life is overflowing with abundance.
waking up in God's arms.
Pema looking at me with 'eye hugs'.
calling my mum, knowing she would offer me complete support...and she did.
being able to surrender to the Divine what is larger than i can handle.
taking the day off of work.
getting a hold of Cindy Lou when the phones were down to work.
that she was not going to work, but worked to contact my supervisor for me anyway.
feeling everything falling in to place, like i was being led step by step in the direction i needed to take.
the spirited wind that was alive in the trees this morning.
the sense that everything...especially this...because it is so big...and so beyond me...and so dark, was not only going to turn out okay, but remarkably...and grandly, for my good.
the little poodle at the bank who instantly ran up to me like i was an old friend.
that i had a check to deposit at a time when my account is as low as it's ever been.
the old lady that was coming in as i was leaving...that i could hold the door for her...she reminded me of Rosie.
that the remembrance of Christa's family was only wistful but did not cause me pain.
that i still have a rental car until tomorrow.
that i could use it for an entire day of errands.
that the 2 old ladies at the parking garage were so astounded and appreciative when i held the door for them that they wanted to tip me, and were more astounded when i said, "please, don't even consider it, ladies, the pleasure's all mine."
that the cashier and barista at Starbucks were so genuinely nice...they both...peered in my eyes and said...this is to make you smile.
that the beautiful, funky girl with the skull and crossbones skirt who, with her boyfriend, was in line with me at the same time...without saying a word...gave me a fullhearted huge embrace and loving kiss on the cheek when i held the door open for them...then turned and walked away with her boyfriend, hand-in-hand...[this has never happened to me before, i did not know them]
that my heart soared, and i felt in that instant that my life was changed forever...and i knew, that the world was full of love [and everything was going to be okay]
the smell of incense wafting through an open doorway.
the laughter and happy sounds of children playing in the fountain.
that the copy machine at the library spit out my $4.70 IN CHANGE so rapidly that i giggled at the thought it sounded like i hit the jackpot.
that i had to pick up my quarters from the floor and raise my 2 fists in the air playing out my imaginary win...mouthing, "JACKPOT!!" in spite of stares.
the leetle girl in front of me in line at the library who was giggling every time her father would ask in his delightful Haitian accent what she wanted for lunch: "hahmbeurguer?...peeetzahh?...weeth pup-eur-ohh-nee??"
that she had smiley-face barrettes in her hair.
that the parking garage ladies found me in the library and exclaimed, "IT'S THE KIND LADY!"
that my favorite library staff worker was the person who processed all of my very overdue returns.
that she proclaimed, "okay...now, about your fines...because you are such a good library patron...forget about it!"...and that she wouldn't take no for answer.
walking downtown in the middle of the day.
julio's wide smile.
that a sacred, treasured bird feather smiled up from the alleyway.
that they always come when i need them.
that the parking garage attendant smiled so beautifully.
that my collapsible pannier baskets work beautifully on my bike.
that Stan at the bike shop gave me a really good deal, and a free can of GT lubricant.
that it was easy fitting my bike into the rental car.
that the same nice girl was at the health food store and smiled at me.
the smell of health food stores.
such uplifting texts all morning and afternoon from Alycia and Leisy.
that Leisy said she loves me more for wanting to change my name to Percival.
that i would gladly be called God's Fool.
that Alycia texted, "Good things are happening" and i felt the flash of a truth deeper than i have even begun to see.
texts from Lisa.
my tofurkymuenstersproutavocadodriedcherry wrap.
that my mother's employer wanted to see me about the letter i received.
that i finally got to meet Rose.
that she cares for my mother so much.
that she sat down with me and offered me her legal counsel and called my insurance company and is putting together a case for me.
that i feel that entire situation was Divinely ordained.
that she helped me and confirmed some decisions i felt had to be made.
that each time i need help, help is miraculously provided.
that my mother and i never part without a big hug, and an "i love you."
that Nancy at the bookstore gave me a big hug and said, "where have you beeeen, girrrrl?!"
that when i shared with her how much i needed her hug, she gave me another one.
that 5 minutes later she said, "you know?...you're gonna have a BRAND, NEW car in 3 months! i know that sounds crazy, but you will...you watch...i don't know why i have to say that, but it's true."
that the bookstore smelled of incense.
that Rose called me on my cell phone already working on my case.
that she asked me to consider helping her plan a truly, remarkable gift she wishes to give my mum.
that i was granted traveling mercies.
that i found the perfect frame-mounted bike pump at Target.
that i found the perfect belt...[i've been looking for a year]
the Indian man and his daughter who were having trouble asking a new, young employee where something was in the store.
that the employee was confused in his reply, but when i turned around, what they were looking for was right there.
that i held it up and pointed at it secretly.
that the employee caught me and we all laughed.
that the Indian man called out, "Thank yooo"...over the aisles.
that the couple in line behind me put down their toy tea set and said, "now we can have the neighbors over for tea."
that i felt i'd instantly made a friend when i said, "if you were my neighbor and you really did that, i'd fall in love with you instantly".
that she said she wished we were neighbors.
that the heat lightning was so remarkably like that night from childhood i watched the storm roll by from the front stoop with my mum that i couldn't help but feel the heavens were smiling.
the tiny tree frog that hopped in front of me by my front door.
blueberry waffles for dinner.
feeling like my life is overflowing with abundance.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
wednesday.
morning ritual with sashi and pema.
having food to eat and a choice of clothes to wear to work.
npr's morning edition.
that i fit my bike in the back of the rental car.
bruce, the man on the bicycle, i met crossing the street..."hi. i'm bruce." hand extended. i liked his directness.
that beautiful boy with dreads getting 24 plain, glazed donuts and coffee...and the story tattooed on his face...i told him it was beautiful.
that adorable family walking down the sidewalk...mother, grandmother, and little boy [maybe 7?] little girl [maybe 5?] he was dressed in pressed dress pants, and an olive camouflaged t-shirt. she was dressed in pressed pants, and a pink camouflaged t-shirt. and they were walking hand-in-hand. oof.
cindy offering me some of her dark chocolate.
office humour.
thawing in the hot, summer sun after our meeting in the cold, cold, conference room.
tacos al carbon...and that it always makes me smile and think of lisa now.
that the ladies at the window there were so nice to me...they made me a special guacamole for my vegetarian tacos.
that i live with enough prosperity that i can choose to be vegetarian.
talking on the phone with mum.
that the bike shop had the collapsible pannier baskets in stock.
that i have enough money to have them mounted on my bike.
that i kept looking forward to kombucha all day.
that i still have a rental car for 2 days and that i could leave work a little early to try to finish all of my errands.
tiffin tins!!!
texting with ej - i miss her!
that i got to wander around the hardware store.
that i got all of the parts i think i need for my kitchen project.
that i am always thinking up projects to do.
that both of my grandfathers were tinkerers and that trait reminds me of and connects me to them.
that i found that long-awaited kombucha.
the skyscrapers at dusk as i was driving east that reflected the beautiful pink and purple sunset. that they could see and reveal the sun that was gone to me.
that my days are full and i never get enough time to finish everything i would.
getting stuff done.
that we have had merciful weather.
seitan jerky for dinner.
the memory of last night's fingernail moon.
singing bowls.
how sound alters reality.
that everything has a distinct sound.
the thought that the whole universe is, in its own way, singing.
listening...
having food to eat and a choice of clothes to wear to work.
npr's morning edition.
that i fit my bike in the back of the rental car.
bruce, the man on the bicycle, i met crossing the street..."hi. i'm bruce." hand extended. i liked his directness.
that beautiful boy with dreads getting 24 plain, glazed donuts and coffee...and the story tattooed on his face...i told him it was beautiful.
that adorable family walking down the sidewalk...mother, grandmother, and little boy [maybe 7?] little girl [maybe 5?] he was dressed in pressed dress pants, and an olive camouflaged t-shirt. she was dressed in pressed pants, and a pink camouflaged t-shirt. and they were walking hand-in-hand. oof.
cindy offering me some of her dark chocolate.
office humour.
thawing in the hot, summer sun after our meeting in the cold, cold, conference room.
tacos al carbon...and that it always makes me smile and think of lisa now.
that the ladies at the window there were so nice to me...they made me a special guacamole for my vegetarian tacos.
that i live with enough prosperity that i can choose to be vegetarian.
talking on the phone with mum.
that the bike shop had the collapsible pannier baskets in stock.
that i have enough money to have them mounted on my bike.
that i kept looking forward to kombucha all day.
that i still have a rental car for 2 days and that i could leave work a little early to try to finish all of my errands.
tiffin tins!!!
texting with ej - i miss her!
that i got to wander around the hardware store.
that i got all of the parts i think i need for my kitchen project.
that i am always thinking up projects to do.
that both of my grandfathers were tinkerers and that trait reminds me of and connects me to them.
that i found that long-awaited kombucha.
the skyscrapers at dusk as i was driving east that reflected the beautiful pink and purple sunset. that they could see and reveal the sun that was gone to me.
that my days are full and i never get enough time to finish everything i would.
getting stuff done.
that we have had merciful weather.
seitan jerky for dinner.
the memory of last night's fingernail moon.
singing bowls.
how sound alters reality.
that everything has a distinct sound.
the thought that the whole universe is, in its own way, singing.
listening...
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
tuesday.
that slight disorientation upon waking that happens after a really good and needed sleep.
the funky shirt i wore today that i found at the thrift store last week. it was exquisite.
the pigeon in the parking lot with pink feet that kept walking back and forth in front of me looking rather expectantly. he was cute and cheeky.
the thought of people who feed wild animals like these.
the sound of cars as i'm waiting to cross the street. if you close your eyes enough they sound like the ocean's waves.
music.
never being bored.
never losing curiosity.
lattes as ritual...[a comforting one i've returned to since my accident]
the opportunity to afford such a luxury.
the opportunity to hug a coworker whose husband has leukemia and is living on 'borrowed time'...that she came to me for a hug.
working through lunch because i get to build a library for troubled teens...supremely satisfying and challenging.
the unexpected phone call and tenderness...and the resulting sense of peace at the opportunity to say, it's okay.
hooray! new pantaleimon cd!!
dusk.
girls' night at job two...working with the fellow ladies...especially laura.
that laura's oldest daughter was my older brother's first girlfriend, and we didn't know this until we started working together.
that laura is such an eternal soul, she'll hide under the cabinet to scare me.
finding the perfect waterproof [boat] box to fit my bike.
that i still have a rental car until Friday.
that debra called to offer her support.
that i fixed my stereo.
that sashi follows me everywhere like the wide-eyed shadow.
sibylle baier's voice.
the funky shirt i wore today that i found at the thrift store last week. it was exquisite.
the pigeon in the parking lot with pink feet that kept walking back and forth in front of me looking rather expectantly. he was cute and cheeky.
the thought of people who feed wild animals like these.
the sound of cars as i'm waiting to cross the street. if you close your eyes enough they sound like the ocean's waves.
music.
never being bored.
never losing curiosity.
lattes as ritual...[a comforting one i've returned to since my accident]
the opportunity to afford such a luxury.
the opportunity to hug a coworker whose husband has leukemia and is living on 'borrowed time'...that she came to me for a hug.
working through lunch because i get to build a library for troubled teens...supremely satisfying and challenging.
the unexpected phone call and tenderness...and the resulting sense of peace at the opportunity to say, it's okay.
hooray! new pantaleimon cd!!
dusk.
girls' night at job two...working with the fellow ladies...especially laura.
that laura's oldest daughter was my older brother's first girlfriend, and we didn't know this until we started working together.
that laura is such an eternal soul, she'll hide under the cabinet to scare me.
finding the perfect waterproof [boat] box to fit my bike.
that i still have a rental car until Friday.
that debra called to offer her support.
that i fixed my stereo.
that sashi follows me everywhere like the wide-eyed shadow.
sibylle baier's voice.
monday.
the golden sunlight of summer mornings.
a job to ready for on monday mornings.
a happy reason to be tired.
the dove that i did not hit with my car.
that i have a rental car until friday.
sashi's growing tenderness post-crazy kitten years.
newfound serenity in the process of letting go.
concord grape kombucha.
having money to buy groceries.
that the grocer's baggers [usually men] are so astounded at how much i can carry in one cloth bag...[their wide eyes always make me smile].
for that strength.
cleaning out my refrigerator...for some reason, such a satisfying task.
late evening walk with pema in the garden.
watching how excited and happy she is to be outside.
when she rolls around on her back on the warmth of the cement.
that alycia was safe traveling in that freak and terrible tornado weather.
that she and her children [pups] did not have to suffer that alone.
a sparkling clean bathroom.
my mother calling me for technical computer advice...go mom...you're more savvy than you know.
to be such a stellar heart's secret yoshimi.
blessed sleep.
a job to ready for on monday mornings.
a happy reason to be tired.
the dove that i did not hit with my car.
that i have a rental car until friday.
sashi's growing tenderness post-crazy kitten years.
newfound serenity in the process of letting go.
concord grape kombucha.
having money to buy groceries.
that the grocer's baggers [usually men] are so astounded at how much i can carry in one cloth bag...[their wide eyes always make me smile].
for that strength.
cleaning out my refrigerator...for some reason, such a satisfying task.
late evening walk with pema in the garden.
watching how excited and happy she is to be outside.
when she rolls around on her back on the warmth of the cement.
that alycia was safe traveling in that freak and terrible tornado weather.
that she and her children [pups] did not have to suffer that alone.
a sparkling clean bathroom.
my mother calling me for technical computer advice...go mom...you're more savvy than you know.
to be such a stellar heart's secret yoshimi.
blessed sleep.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
sunday.
npr. sunday morning.
french press pot of coffee.
horking internet on my front deck in a beautiful, sunny morning summer breeze.
how cats say so much with their eyes.
the squirrel i saw scampering up the fence.
the lizard on the stair.
talking to my brother on the phone. how sincerely he invests himself into all of our conversations.
missing him...which is a gratitude, because he is such a wonderful brother and dear friend.
reflecting with cheryl on all that i am grateful for.
that i have such a wonderful landlady who values such things.
the smell of breakfast wafting from my neighbour's kitchen.
the ladybug that graced my travel by lighting on my bag just as i was about to drive.
that i was able to transport her safely to my garden.
my text from jesse: " you have a strong heart. i rode my bike today. we are like long distance bike partners:) " [i cannot express how happy this thought made me]
being able to spend time with my mum.
completing my driving school/post accident, online at mum's
getting every question on the exam correct...[being nerdy and studious].
cooking dinner with mum.
single serve ice cream.
recalling that summer evening as a child when my mum and i lay out on the front stoop and watched that beautiful, dramatic storm pass with quite a show of lightning in the distance across the circumference of the sky.
that my family values such things.
being sent home from my mum's with a bag of kitchen scraps for my compost pile.
the delightful book i have begun reading.
the amazing andrea degens' instrumental, "change my world" on pantaleimon's "trees hold time" cd.
that i have a rental car until friday.
driving home beside the long freight train that i would cross over to enter the highway and getting off the highway to exit home and being stopped at the tracks for the same train some 35 minutes away.
that trains still make me wistful, but no longer sad.
psalms 30.
french press pot of coffee.
horking internet on my front deck in a beautiful, sunny morning summer breeze.
how cats say so much with their eyes.
the squirrel i saw scampering up the fence.
the lizard on the stair.
talking to my brother on the phone. how sincerely he invests himself into all of our conversations.
missing him...which is a gratitude, because he is such a wonderful brother and dear friend.
reflecting with cheryl on all that i am grateful for.
that i have such a wonderful landlady who values such things.
the smell of breakfast wafting from my neighbour's kitchen.
the ladybug that graced my travel by lighting on my bag just as i was about to drive.
that i was able to transport her safely to my garden.
my text from jesse: " you have a strong heart. i rode my bike today. we are like long distance bike partners:) " [i cannot express how happy this thought made me]
being able to spend time with my mum.
completing my driving school/post accident, online at mum's
getting every question on the exam correct...[being nerdy and studious].
cooking dinner with mum.
single serve ice cream.
recalling that summer evening as a child when my mum and i lay out on the front stoop and watched that beautiful, dramatic storm pass with quite a show of lightning in the distance across the circumference of the sky.
that my family values such things.
being sent home from my mum's with a bag of kitchen scraps for my compost pile.
the delightful book i have begun reading.
the amazing andrea degens' instrumental, "change my world" on pantaleimon's "trees hold time" cd.
that i have a rental car until friday.
driving home beside the long freight train that i would cross over to enter the highway and getting off the highway to exit home and being stopped at the tracks for the same train some 35 minutes away.
that trains still make me wistful, but no longer sad.
psalms 30.
saturday.
waking up to the love of two kitters.
a 2nd job to go to [when some people don't have even one job].
the customer's little son...probably 6...who so very obviously loved music and proceeded to keep rhythm with the store's radio by banging congo drum-like on our protein tubs.
my coworkers...especially meno and laura.
meno's cd he made for me...and various tongue-in-cheek texts of encouragement throughout the week.
eating my lunch hunched under the eaves of the roof in the rain.
the young guy who came walking over the hill as i ate my lunch in the rain who yelled out over the downpour while pointing my way, "now, THAT'S whatchu call a KODAK MOMENT!". he made me smile.
the customer who told me, "you really know you're stuff....i like that!".
hot tea.
good thrift store finds.
pantaleimon's "trees hold time" cd...so like contemplative oxygen of late.
living through to the other side of sorrow.
a long evening walk with pema in the garden.
getting my laundry done.
blessed sleep.
a 2nd job to go to [when some people don't have even one job].
the customer's little son...probably 6...who so very obviously loved music and proceeded to keep rhythm with the store's radio by banging congo drum-like on our protein tubs.
my coworkers...especially meno and laura.
meno's cd he made for me...and various tongue-in-cheek texts of encouragement throughout the week.
eating my lunch hunched under the eaves of the roof in the rain.
the young guy who came walking over the hill as i ate my lunch in the rain who yelled out over the downpour while pointing my way, "now, THAT'S whatchu call a KODAK MOMENT!". he made me smile.
the customer who told me, "you really know you're stuff....i like that!".
hot tea.
good thrift store finds.
pantaleimon's "trees hold time" cd...so like contemplative oxygen of late.
living through to the other side of sorrow.
a long evening walk with pema in the garden.
getting my laundry done.
blessed sleep.
Friday, August 1, 2008
friday.
a quiet morning.
sashi sitting beside me waiting for licks of my spirulina and essential fatty acid oil.
a gentle afternoon.
such a wonderful surprise visit at work from my friend laurabeautifulangeltallestsentinelwhitedove...and a much needed hug.
the lovely comments left by healingstones in the uk.
plenty of water to drink when i was dehydrated and did not feel well.
that i feel better.
the patron who had so many questions on the phone who reminded me that the best part of my job is being able to make a difference in someone's life.
tori...who was so helpful on the phone when i called to price insurance for a new vehicle...he was genuinely nice.
the afternoon rain.
the incredible dark wall of clouds through which the streaming sun came down like a tower.
the most thoughtful letter that arrived in the mail...full of cherished treasures.
a beautiful evening puja acknowledging the eclipse with pema in the garden.
hanging new prayer flags on the eclipse.
that pema sat near me and wandered in the garden without attempting to run off like the scamp, ragamuffin cat she's been known to be.
my grandfather's meerschaum pipe and cavendish.
the wholly breathtaking surprise delivery from the UPS man...and the wonder and gift of the most beautiful orchids.
the amazing first experience of someone having sent me flowers.
that the envelope and box were addressed to [zen] jen.
laughing.
coconut italian ice.
that my kitters come running for their personal taste of coconut italian ice.
that i feel everything is coming together just as it should.
that i trust that the recent unforeseen turn of events...having lost my car, lung ta...will ultimately result in directing me exactly where i need to go in order to live my best life.
that God has always taken care of me...even when i was without a home...that i know nothing is too big or beyond Him.
sashi sitting beside me waiting for licks of my spirulina and essential fatty acid oil.
a gentle afternoon.
such a wonderful surprise visit at work from my friend laurabeautifulangeltallestsentinelwhitedove...and a much needed hug.
the lovely comments left by healingstones in the uk.
plenty of water to drink when i was dehydrated and did not feel well.
that i feel better.
the patron who had so many questions on the phone who reminded me that the best part of my job is being able to make a difference in someone's life.
tori...who was so helpful on the phone when i called to price insurance for a new vehicle...he was genuinely nice.
the afternoon rain.
the incredible dark wall of clouds through which the streaming sun came down like a tower.
the most thoughtful letter that arrived in the mail...full of cherished treasures.
a beautiful evening puja acknowledging the eclipse with pema in the garden.
hanging new prayer flags on the eclipse.
that pema sat near me and wandered in the garden without attempting to run off like the scamp, ragamuffin cat she's been known to be.
my grandfather's meerschaum pipe and cavendish.
the wholly breathtaking surprise delivery from the UPS man...and the wonder and gift of the most beautiful orchids.
the amazing first experience of someone having sent me flowers.
that the envelope and box were addressed to [zen] jen.
laughing.
coconut italian ice.
that my kitters come running for their personal taste of coconut italian ice.
that i feel everything is coming together just as it should.
that i trust that the recent unforeseen turn of events...having lost my car, lung ta...will ultimately result in directing me exactly where i need to go in order to live my best life.
that God has always taken care of me...even when i was without a home...that i know nothing is too big or beyond Him.
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