monday.

waking up before the sun.

discovering before i got on the road that my bike tire was flat

being able to walk to a service station.

being able call ron for advice over the phone.

mum's boundless concern.

that i can feel like just her voice over the phone is enough to make me feel at home…[which is to say…i can usually hold it together…but cry so easily and finally fall apart with her and she hears me]

that God understands my inexpressible tears.

determination. and self motivation.

laughing inside my head at the thought that going around and around again trying to fit the rubber back into the tire frame was not unlike sisyphus and his hill.

that moment when i thought: "i will do this for strong, independent women everywhere"

that i didn't have to walk in the rain.

the woman at the bus stop who smiled at me.

finally getting on the road in spite of so many obstacles.

the generous offering of ice at that mid-way mark.

a gentle, quiet, grace-filled conversation.

granting peace and love in places of hurt and pain.

seeing a relief and smile there.

the feather in the alleyway i turned around to retrieve.

arriving to work safely.

getting a lot done at work.

having to laugh at myself when my tiffin tin exploded cole slaw and turnips all over beverly's desk.

that beverly and jackie encourage my faith.

having a number of co-workers express care for my safety/offering me a ride home due to rain.

getting to see my mum when she came to pick me up.

that my mum is full of [and i suppose has alternately instilled in me] a sense of childlike wonder.
exiting the bathroom at target to see her mischievously trying to hide from me.

that i found an excellent tire pump so i don't have to walk to the service station next time.

that my mum is always so nice to strangers.

that together we made the lady at subway smile as she was making our sandwiches.

that my mum and i could sit in the parking lot and point out the beautiful clouds in the sky.

that one of them looked like aladdin's lamp.

that we rounded that corner in yet another store where the young mother pulled us aside and asked, "what do you think? which backpack is best for my little girl?"

that my mum instantly asked the little girl what her favorite color was and talked to her about her favorite backpack.

that the young mother looked up to my mum for advice.

that both my mum and i felt like crying when we helped her think it through for herself and she thanked us for our perspective and confirmation.

that we both felt like that's the very reason we were led to that corner in the store.

that that young mother was black and we are white and that that moment felt like a very natural but large step to healing the myriad tiny divides that can continue to separate and build walls between different ethnicities of people…in that moment…we were just women relating to one another…and it made my heart glad because that's the way it should be.

that my mum is such a good, commonsense, no-need-for-frills woman and has taught me the value and resilience of that.

that i found the 27 inch tubes that i needed.

that we could joke with the man in front of us in line.

that i could give my mum some kwan loon oil.

that it worked for her pain.

that pema did not wander off and get lost when i feared she had.

that I let myself go to sleep early.