thursday.

[some days are just so beautiful, i'm not certain my heart can contain it...to preface this unusual preamble, i wish to note that early, early this morning...in the middle of the night, in fact, i opened the most frightening letter i have ever received...stating that i may be legally responsible...read: sued...for my recent car accident...and after my heart sunk...all. i could do. all. i could do...was have a conversation with God...and it was such a beautiful thing...my heart was crushed, and my mind was racing...and i thought of every possible, dire scenario...and simply talked it out...and surrendered it to the Power that is beyond me...and like a child, i went to sleep carried by a Love eternal...and though the fear and worry was washed away, with every breath i took i proclaimed...breathing in...i give this whole situation to God...breathing out...i rest in the fact that it is in the hands of the Divine, and so...i awoke, to the most...amazing...day]

waking up in God's arms.

Pema looking at me with 'eye hugs'.

calling my mum, knowing she would offer me complete support...and she did.

being able to surrender to the Divine what is larger than i can handle.

taking the day off of work.

getting a hold of Cindy Lou when the phones were down to work.

that she was not going to work, but worked to contact my supervisor for me anyway.

feeling everything falling in to place, like i was being led step by step in the direction i needed to take.

the spirited wind that was alive in the trees this morning.

the sense that everything...especially this...because it is so big...and so beyond me...and so dark, was not only going to turn out okay, but remarkably...and grandly, for my good.

the little poodle at the bank who instantly ran up to me like i was an old friend.

that i had a check to deposit at a time when my account is as low as it's ever been.

the old lady that was coming in as i was leaving...that i could hold the door for her...she reminded me of Rosie.

that the remembrance of Christa's family was only wistful but did not cause me pain.

that i still have a rental car until tomorrow.

that i could use it for an entire day of errands.

that the 2 old ladies at the parking garage were so astounded and appreciative when i held the door for them that they wanted to tip me, and were more astounded when i said, "please, don't even consider it, ladies, the pleasure's all mine."

that the cashier and barista at Starbucks were so genuinely nice...they both...peered in my eyes and said...this is to make you smile.

that the beautiful, funky girl with the skull and crossbones skirt who, with her boyfriend, was in line with me at the same time...without saying a word...gave me a fullhearted huge embrace and loving kiss on the cheek when i held the door open for them...then turned and walked away with her boyfriend, hand-in-hand...[this has never happened to me before, i did not know them]

that my heart soared, and i felt in that instant that my life was changed forever...and i knew, that the world was full of love [and everything was going to be okay]

the smell of incense wafting through an open doorway.

the laughter and happy sounds of children playing in the fountain.

that the copy machine at the library spit out my $4.70 IN CHANGE so rapidly that i giggled at the thought it sounded like i hit the jackpot.

that i had to pick up my quarters from the floor and raise my 2 fists in the air playing out my imaginary win...mouthing, "JACKPOT!!" in spite of stares.

the leetle girl in front of me in line at the library who was giggling every time her father would ask in his delightful Haitian accent what she wanted for lunch: "hahmbeurguer?...peeetzahh?...weeth pup-eur-ohh-nee??"

that she had smiley-face barrettes in her hair.

that the parking garage ladies found me in the library and exclaimed, "IT'S THE KIND LADY!"

that my favorite library staff worker was the person who processed all of my very overdue returns.

that she proclaimed, "okay...now, about your fines...because you are such a good library patron...forget about it!"...and that she wouldn't take no for answer.

walking downtown in the middle of the day.

julio's wide smile.

that a sacred, treasured bird feather smiled up from the alleyway.

that they always come when i need them.

that the parking garage attendant smiled so beautifully.

that my collapsible pannier baskets work beautifully on my bike.

that Stan at the bike shop gave me a really good deal, and a free can of GT lubricant.

that it was easy fitting my bike into the rental car.

that the same nice girl was at the health food store and smiled at me.

the smell of health food stores.

such uplifting texts all morning and afternoon from Alycia and Leisy.

that Leisy said she loves me more for wanting to change my name to Percival.

that i would gladly be called God's Fool.

that Alycia texted, "Good things are happening" and i felt the flash of a truth deeper than i have even begun to see.

texts from Lisa.

my tofurkymuenstersproutavocadodriedcherry wrap.

that my mother's employer wanted to see me about the letter i received.

that i finally got to meet Rose.

that she cares for my mother so much.

that she sat down with me and offered me her legal counsel and called my insurance company and is putting together a case for me.

that i feel that entire situation was Divinely ordained.

that she helped me and confirmed some decisions i felt had to be made.

that each time i need help, help is miraculously provided.

that my mother and i never part without a big hug, and an "i love you."

that Nancy at the bookstore gave me a big hug and said, "where have you beeeen, girrrrl?!"

that when i shared with her how much i needed her hug, she gave me another one.

that 5 minutes later she said, "you know?...you're gonna have a BRAND, NEW car in 3 months! i know that sounds crazy, but you will...you watch...i don't know why i have to say that, but it's true."

that the bookstore smelled of incense.

that Rose called me on my cell phone already working on my case.

that she asked me to consider helping her plan a truly, remarkable gift she wishes to give my mum.

that i was granted traveling mercies.

that i found the perfect frame-mounted bike pump at Target.

that i found the perfect belt...[i've been looking for a year]

the Indian man and his daughter who were having trouble asking a new, young employee where something was in the store.

that the employee was confused in his reply, but when i turned around, what they were looking for was right there.

that i held it up and pointed at it secretly.

that the employee caught me and we all laughed.

that the Indian man called out, "Thank yooo"...over the aisles.

that the couple in line behind me put down their toy tea set and said, "now we can have the neighbors over for tea."

that i felt i'd instantly made a friend when i said, "if you were my neighbor and you really did that, i'd fall in love with you instantly".

that she said she wished we were neighbors.

that the heat lightning was so remarkably like that night from childhood i watched the storm roll by from the front stoop with my mum that i couldn't help but feel the heavens were smiling.

the tiny tree frog that hopped in front of me by my front door.

blueberry waffles for dinner.

feeling like my life is overflowing with abundance.